Warning: You Might Be an Insta-Dick

When it comes to social media, share too much and you're boring everyone with Instagrammed appetizers. But the opposite's just as bad: Share too little and, as Mark Byrne found out, it's really easy to look like a shallow, self-aggrandizing jerk.

Insta-Dick

I joined Instagram on Memorial Day of last year, several beers into a long, boozy evening, after watching four of the people at my table use their phones to photograph the three-tiered oyster tray that had just been delivered...to the table next to ours. By the time I'd downloaded the app, the oyster pyramid was gone, but I'd acquired three followers (all at the table) and the groundwork for a new way to misrepresent myself to the masses. The first picture I took, later that night, was of a bottle of wine. I don't even like wine, and it wasn't my bottle. But no one needed to know that.

Admit it: You've done the same. Maybe you don't outright lie about drinking beyond-your-budget Syrah, but a quick flick through Instagram shows mostly beach pics, fancy drinks, fast cars, and group shots of beautiful friends. (And dog photos. So many goddamn dog photos.)

Which falls in line with the general social-networking M.O. The whole game is rigged to favor the witty and the cool. Your tweets are all humblebrags, and your Facebook photo albums oscillate between Party and Vacation—or parties while on vacation. Cancún! Fourteen-dollar Manhattans! But the other six days a week, you stay in with a six-pack and Netflix rom-coms even your girlfriend is too embarrassed to watch. There are two yous: Real You and Insta-You. And there's, like, six income brackets between these people.

Welcome to your new social-media neurosis: You're undersharing.

Remember when everyone was afraid of the opposite, of giving away too much? It's why your Facebook page doesn't have your phone number and why your Twitter handle is a reference to a song lyric instead of your real name. But all that time spent trying to obscure your identity created this new problem: No one knows the real you.

I can tell you who Instagram Mark is. Instagram Mark is a man who lives on espresso and aged Manchego and spends more time with his feet dangling into pools than he does working. (Does he even have a job?) He's never eaten fast food, and his apartment is always crowded with friends. Truth be told, Instagram Mark is kind of an overcompensating dick.

Ask yourself: Would you be embarrassed for Insta-You if he were real? Would your girlfriend think he's a stooge? If the answer's anything more than "maybe," get to work evening out the dickishness. Salvation is only a few self-deprecating photographs away.

Look, I'm not telling you to skip shooting all the cool stuff you normally would. Go ahead—snap that vintage Volvo P1800, that expensive watch, or someone else's wine. Don't hold back. But the goal here—as in seesaws or a good martini—is balance. And the only way you're going to hit the sweet spot between under- and oversharing is if you constantly take stock of what you're putting out there. Consider it an Insta-audit.

Say your last three photos were from a twelve-course tasting menu with square white plates and molded orbs of foie gras. Offset the swagger with glory shots of the ham and Swiss on rye you eat for lunch every day. Last week you were in Palm Springs? This week: the subway. If the celebs-are-just-like-us tabloid staple has taught us anything, it's that everyone likes seeing photos of other people doing realistic, relatable shit. A little bit of reality goes a long way.

And hey, if your feed's beyond saving, you can always nuke your account and start over. A less dickish Insta-You is only a shiny new username away.

Fade Up

The secret to wearing bold colors without looking like a dandy or a spaz is simple: They should be washed-out. Faded. Like they were already broken in before you even pulled them on. And don't be afraid to mix them all together, like New York band Vampire Weekend—the indie darlings who are now looking, thanks to an inspired third album, to float the mainstream

When Vampire Weekend's first album appeared, in 2008, you couldn't talk about them without arguing about them. All up for debate: their sly, self-assured, and perfect-pop riffs; their breezy Internet-fueled rise and Afropop appropriation; the perception vs. reality of their elitism, vis-à-vis their degrees from Columbia and the pink horses on their Ralph Lauren. Back then, VW's cheery frontman, Ezra Koenig, tells me, it felt like "people were waiting for us to fuck up."

Now here comes third album Modern Vampires of the City, a tightly produced batch of wordy, playful, daydream jams written and recorded in L.A., Brooklyn, and—okay, laugh it up—a friend's guesthouse on Martha's Vineyard. Koenig says, softly sarcastic, "If people are still like, 'Oh, my God, you preppy white-ass Ivy League whatever,' " well, then, maybe they weren't really listening to the music in the first place. Not that he's all that salted about it: "I mean, I'm always happy to engage in a dialogue about Polo shirts."

Right before I hang up, I offer a theory: A while back, Drake embraced the winter sweater, via his particular Haute-Cosby Look. Is it possible Vampire Weekend—once so closely associated with the woolly wear—became, by comparison, less preppy? "Maybe that's true," Koenig offers gamely. "I didn't think about that, because the sweaters Drake wears are from such a different branch of the sweater tree. It's the style of somebody wearing clothes associated with very old people. Which I like." He mulls it over some more. "I feel like sweaters will always be a part of our band. But maybe the moment for them to be at the forefront has passed, in a healthy way? And we can start focusing on other items?"

Spring Colors You Know, in Shades You Don't
This season, our favorite colors look like they were made in the 1980s—and then spent the next thirty years in some forgotten warehouse washing machine. The result is rusty reds, watery blues, and purples that fade into grays. Start by buying a sweatshirt or a pair of chinos and then work your way up to Vampire Weekend's next-level mixing and matching

The Gentleman's Guide to a One-Night Stand

Congrats! You're going home with someone! Better yet, someone who miraculously wants exactly what you want from this encounter—a no-strings-attached (unless bondage straps count?) night of sex. But instead of enjoying this rarely realized fantasy, you're paralyzed with anxiety. Siobhan Rosen lays out how to be a stand-up guy throughout the stickiest, most mistake-ridden sexual escapade of them all

In theory, a one-night stand should be as easy as its sexual congregants. You want sex. She wants sex. Commence passionate no-commitment sexytimes. Finish passionate no-commitment sexytimes. Wash face. Sleep. Part. Thanks for the memories, you!

Style Report: The MTV Movie Awards

Eddie Redmayne
Gosling better start checking his rearview mirror, because Redmayne is coming up fast in the leading-man style lane. The actor knows how to kill it when it comes to black tie, and proves here he can handle the off-duty stuff equally with ease.

Macklemore
The good? Macklemore knows how a suit fits, and that cobalt tux is pretty sharp. The bad? Wearing Liberace's skeet blanket over it.

Paul Feig
We never thought we'd say this, but someone actually showed up overdressed to an MTV awards show.

Tom Hiddleston

Cary Grant's Timeless Style Advice

Since Cary Grant first appeared in Hollywood in the late 1930s, his status as a style icon has never been questioned. The sartorial master imparted his wisdom to the editors of GQ for the Winter 1967/68 issue in an article called, "Cary Grant On Style." As these tips prove, true style really is timeless

Read the original article "Cary Grant On Style" here

"I've purchased dozens of suits over the years and they all have one attribute in common: they are in the middle of fashion. By that I mean they're not self-consciously fashionable or far out, nor are they overly conservative or dated. In other words, the lapels are neither too wide nor too narrow, the trousers neither too tight nor too loose, the coats neither too short nor too long. I've worn clothes of extreme style, but only in order to dress appropriately for the type of character I played in particular films. Otherwise, simplicity, to me, has always been the essence of good taste."

"If the sleeves seem disproportionately wider than customary, it indicates a very deep armhole. Don't contemplate buying if you are of average or slim size—you'll get a well-fitting back but an extremely loose-fitting front and sleeves that tend to ride up if you lift your arms. A deep armhole is popular with many manufacturers because each coat fits a wider range of customers."

"I'm reminded of a piece of advice my father gave me regarding shoes: it has stood me in good stead whenever my own finances were low. He said it's better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones. One pair made of fine leather could outlast four inferior pairs, and, if well cared for, would continue to proclaim your good judgment and taste no matter how old they become. The same applies to suits, so permit me to suggest you buy the best you can afford even though it means buying less."

"Well, if a man's budget restricts him to only one suit, then I would choose something unobtrusive. A dark blue, almost black, of lightweight cloth, serviceable for both day and evening wear. I suggest lightweight because nowadays most restaurants, offices, shops and theaters are well heated during fall and winter. I found that so even, surprisingly, in Moscow. With such modern indoor comfort, one need only be concerned with cold weather while out-of-doors."

"A sport coat ought to be easy-fitting, its pattern neither loud nor flashy. If you're unsure which plaid or check to choose, then one of those dark blue, single-breasted blazers that have been worn by all classes in England for years, and have since become popular here, is acceptable for most casual wear."

"During summer I've taken to wearing light beige, washable poplin suits. They're inexpensive and, if kept crisp and clean, acceptable almost anywhere at any time, even in the evening. Also, the coat can be worn with grey flannels at the seashore or in the country, and the trousers used separately with a sport shirt and moccasins, or a pair of those heavy-soled white canvas shoes that are popular with young college men."

"A cardigan coat sweater of lightweight wool and conservative color is a useful investment. It can be worn without a coat on many occasions, and has the advantage of being easily slipped on without those arm-raising contortions and the need to re-comb your hair."

"Shoes? I've already mentioned that good shoes look better and last longer. If a man must limit himself to only one pair of shoes for city wear, then they should be black. If two, then a brown pair of darkest chocolate color are useful with almost all suits and, if he has no moccasins, even with grey flannels."

"If your pocket handkerchief is monogrammed, don't wear it carefully folded to show the monogram peeking above your breast-pocket. That's somehow ostentatious."

"Do see that your socks stay up. Nothing can spoil an otherwise well-groomed effect like sagging socks. Don't stuff your pockets with heavy articles and bulging wallets filled with seldom-used cards. They ruin not only the neatness of your appearance but the actual tailoring of your suit."

Style: 2017 The GQ Guide to Prom (Look)

Look your sharpest on the big night with the perfect tux, shoes, and hair you won't regret when you look at your Instagrams a decade from now

THE GQ GUIDE TO PROM

 We say it all the time because we mean it: buy your tux. Why? Because getting something with a modern feel and the perfect fit is the key to looking awesome in black tie, and that's difficult to do in your average stodgy rental.

The best part is there are more affordable—and sharp!—looking options these days for about as much (or a bump more) than what you'd pay for a rental

1. The Slim-Fit Tux
If you want a no-nonsense, slim-fit tux with some edge, go with this one from ASOS. The trim one-button peak-lapel jacket and tapered pants capture classic black-tie swagger in the slickest way, and at a crazy good price.

ASOS jacket, $108, and pants, $58

 2. The Traditional Tux
For the more traditionally minded young gents out there, Alfani's two-button model offers red carpet style for way less than what the Hollywood types are paying (actually, scratch that—they're getting theirs for free).

GQ Selects: May 2013

! We don't sell these things 
Comme de Garçons Zip Wallet
$95

If all men's wallets were on a Venn diagram, this one by Commes des Garcons would fall right in the middle. It's slim, but easily handles all the cash and cards guys usually stuff into a bulky billfold, and the added zipper ensures everything inside stays put. Plus, the bold hue ensures you'll never misplace your wallet again.

Gucci Distressed Leather Biker Jacket
$4,550

As we look ahead to fall, the biker jacket is definitely having a moment. What's so sharp about Gucci's take on the rebel-style classic is that it has all the luxury details you'd expect from the famed Italian house, with a totally unique spin. The distressed cool gray/blue body is sure to set any guy apart from the pack, on or off a bike.

RD3

His resurrection has all the characteristics of an origin story for a Hollywood superhero: A gifted young actor loses his way, cheats death again and again, then straightens himself out just in time to conquer the world. But the way Robert Downey Jr. tells it, the reality involves a lot more detours, and the final act still hasn't been written. With Iron Man 3 poised to extend his outrageous hot streak, Downey invited GQ's Chris Heath to his house in Malibu to talk about where he's been, where he's going, and where all the demons went.

Robert Downey Jr. habitually carries with him a miniature brown leather suitcase. If he's rummaging inside it, it's usually for another square of Nicorette gum, but there's all sorts of stuff in there: rattling pill bottles—antiparasitics and antivirals ("Sushi's worth it, but sometimes you've got to clean the bugs out") and some kind of chemical if he happens to eat bread—a dark blue beanie bearing the logo of the security company that guards this Malibu estate, some medallions whose twins I'll later see his wife, Susan, wearing, and a typed letter he recently received from Woody Harrelson onto the back of which he has, perhaps absentmindedly, been pressing chewed globs of gum. There is also—and this is what he removes now from the case to show me—a solid-gold Iron Man helmet head.

Wear It NowEasy Upgrades: 10 Must-Haves Under $100

1. Topman suede desert boots
Suede desert boots are a mainstay—McQueen rarely straddled a bike without his—but designers never ventured beyond khaki and brown. That just changed. For spring, the boots got spiked with an array of colors that will give new life to your jeans, chinos, and suits. It's time to let those tan boots fall to the back of the closet—and go electric.

2. Prada Luna Rossa cologne
Prada's new Luna Rossa packs an extra-fresh hit of lavender for the kind of detail-obsessed guy who knows the difference between pomade, paste, and styling clay.

3. Smart Turnout knit tie
This season, reinvigorate your wardrobe with one simple purchase: a knit tie. The hit of texture will give any business suit a lift—and knits are now available in zillions of not-drab colors and countless not-boring patterns.

4. Zara penny loafers
Penny loafers for penny-pinchers: These new low-cost versions are just as advanced as their pricey cousins. Perfect for the guy who's about to start loafing for the first time.

5. Warby Parker Jasper sunglasses
Warby Parker is a brand that's made for this list—every great pair of glasses and sunglasses, like this pair of Jaspers here, comes in at under $100.

6. Minnetonka moccasins
Moccasins have lived in driving loafers' shadows for years—but no more. Not since labels like Tod's started using high-end suede and leather roping to give them new life. Bonus: The OG brand, Minnetonka, has responded, giving the Italian boys a run for their euros.

7. Gap oxford shirt
With a tie or without, alone with the sleeves pushed up or under a blazer, this slim-fit oxford from Gap is ready for anything.

8. The Knottery Grenadine tie
If you're going with a solid tie, it never hurts to choose one with a little texture, like this "grenadine" tie from The Knottery.

9. Superga sneakers
Superga's sneakers are popular with the athletic crowd, but these Italian classics work just as well with a pair of jeans as they do on a tennis court.

10. CB I Hate Perfume Invisible Monster cologne
Invisible Monster from CB I Hate Perfume makes you smell like you felled trees all day with one of those $300 paint-dipped axes, then went home to shotgun a microbrew.

The Best of GQ Endorses

The Louder, Prouder Desert Boot
March 2013

Suede desert boots are a mainstay—McQueen rarely straddled a bike without his—but designers never ventured beyond khaki and brown. That just changed. For spring, the boots got spiked with an array of colors that will give new life to your jeans, chinos, and suits. It's time to let those tan boots fall to the back of the closet—and go electric.

The Tab-Collar Dress Shirt
February 2013

Let's face it, by the end of a long workday, our collars and ties don't look as crisp as they did when we first knotted up in the morning. Here's a solution: Try a tab-collar dress shirt with a built-in button that attaches under your tie for that neat-as-a-pin look—without the pins. The higher, pinched-in collar makes even the simplest tie look like a special event and frames your face in a flattering way. Maybe that's why Daniel Craig wears one as Bond in Skyfall: He can spend the day zooming across Istanbul rooftops on a motorbike yet, come nighttime, still have his tie knot in place to hit the casino and seduce the bad guy's bodacious girl.

Wearing Rubbers
January 2013

This time of year, one nasty puddle can send your dress shoes to a soggy grave. But now, you can fight back. At its Milan fashion show, Prada unveiled shoes that looked like they had old-school galoshes on them. Turns out the shoes are dipped in rubber—an innovation in the war on winter. But if you're looking to get in on the most practical style of the season for a little less coin, Swims makes rubbers in zippy colors that snap onto your brogues and don't cost a lot of bucks.