Sunday, 5 August 2012

FAQ 2017: The GQ Guide to Suits | how to choose the right suit for your body

Different types of suits design:
Learn to suit up properly and everything else follows.
Whether you're an office guy who needs to look sharp for the competition, or a creative type who dresses up because he likes to, the suit is the basic building block of looking good. It's a timeless, ever adaptable, sometimes maligned, but never improved uniform. Consider the roots of that word: uni, as in a universally good idea to save your ass from the danger of too much choice; form, as in the opposite of formless, sloppy, or unfocused. We'll get to the specifics of lapel widths and armholes and vents and how to do it right, but let's first agree that this is where dressing like a man begins. Get the basics down and then you can lose yourself in perfecting the details—what the ever dapper Tom Wolfe once approvingly called the sartorial "mania for marginal differences." And that's when things get interesting.
Types of suits for men's body types
1. What the Twenty-first- Century Suited Man Looks Like
Check out Christoph Waltz here and you'll see more than just a sharp-dressed man—you'll see a completely contemporary man. What's the secret? The trimness of the suit? Sure. The elegance of the details? Totally. But look a little closer and you'll notice what's not here: no aggressive plaids, no I'm-the-man pinstripes, no four-button jacket. Instead, the message is smart, confident, thoroughly put together. He makes a statement by not making one—or at least looking as if he's not trying so hard to make one. Like the best in modern design, his suit is simple and streamlined, perfectly crafted. That's the look you want.
2. More Than Ever, It's About Fit
That's our mantra here at GQ. It's what we preach every issue. Doesn't matter what kind of suit you're investing in, whether it's $200 or $2,000, flannel or seersucker, two-button or three. We've seen plenty of guys who've bought the right suit and let it hang off them like an NBA rookie on draft night. And we've seen men in cheap but well-tailored suits who look like a million bucks. The thing's got to fit right, or else there's no point in wearing it. Question is, what's the right fit, and how do you get it?
A. Take It from the Top
A good suit should hug your shoulders, not slouch off them. Most guys think they're a size larger than they are—say, a 42 regular instead of a 40. When buying a suit, go ahead and try sizing down. When you pull on the jacket, there should be a firmness to it. You should snap to attention and stand taller. If it doesn't fit right in the shoulders, don't buy it.
3. Wanna Step It Up? Nail the Finer Points
You know how a suit should fit. But what about all the details that define the style of a suit? You've got countless options. Here are the ones that matter most, the ones that make for an infallible suit.
F. Start with the Lapels
Nothing does more to dictate a suit's character than the lapel. We like a slim one, about two inches at its widest point. It's modern without being rock-star skinny.
G. Go for Two
We swear by a two-button suit jacket. Sure, a three-button that's cut well can do the job, but a two-button is much more consistently reliable, no matter your shape or size. We typically opt for ones with low-button stances, because they create a long, slimming torso. They're foolproof.
H. Ticket, Please
Ticket pocket? Sure. If you're into more of a British-dandy vibe, go for it.
I. Cause a Flap
We like a traditional flap pocket. There's something a bit too '90s about those slit pockets.
J. Feel Free to Vent
Finally, don't ignore the back of the jacket. It plays an integral role in a suit's character. Generally, we prefer a center vent; it's unobtrusive and keeps the lines of the suit clean and simple. Side vents, like these here, make more of a statement. They're a bit more...rakish.
4. To Cuff or Not to Cuff
Designer Michael Bastian on how the right call can make or break a suit
"I like cuffs on pants of just about any fabric. Of course, when you're dealing with heavier corduroys and tweeds, the cuffs serve a purpose: They give the pants some weight, so they fall better. I say, if you're gonna go for a cuff, go for it; make it at least an inch and a quarter deep. As for the break, 90 percent of guys keep it classic, where the front of your pants hits the top bit of your shoes and the back of them touches the tops of your heels. That always works—but if you know what you're doing, then you can play around a bit and show a little ankle. Bring a pair of shoes to the tailor's to get the length just right and always follow that old rule 'Measure twice, cut once.' It's easy to go a little shorter, but it's impossible to go a little longer."



My First Suit: The Keeps-on-Ticking Hand-Me-Down
Kirk Miller
Miller's Oath, N.Y.C.
"I got this really simple two-button summer khaki by Paul Stuart that was a hand-me-down from Goodwill. It was beat-up, with scuffed elbows, and basically it was really badass. I must've worn the jacket for a year straight. It was a 37 short, which almost no one but Paul Stuart makes. It's funny, actually, because I almost gave it away the other day—but then I thought, 'No, no! I can't give that away.' "

5. How to Suit Your Shape
Shelly here is about five feet four and, well, not exactly runway skinny. But even without hitting the gym, he looks like a new man by choosing the right suit. Anyone who's short or a bit heavyset should take notes.
Before
An overly roomy suit—even a pricey one like this—makes you look sloppy.
Avoid long suit jackets. They actually make your legs look shorter.
Excess fabric, especially below the knee, adds pounds.
After
Be honest with yourself. Admit you're short and buy short-length suits.
Wear a pocket square. It brings the focus to your chest, not your belly.
A lower button stance creates long lines, essentially stretching you out.
Show some cuff to lengthen the look of your arms.
• A pant leg with very little break will help you look taller.
Big man, solid shoe. Choose shoes that have a substantial sole. You need something to anchor your weight.


After
Be honest with yourself. Admit you're short and buy short-length suits.
Wear a pocket square. It brings the focus to your chest, not your belly.
A lower button stance creates long lines, essentially stretching you out.
Show some cuff to lengthen the look of your arms.
• A pant leg with very little break will help you look taller.
Big man, solid shoe. Choose shoes that have a substantial sole. You need something to anchor your weight.

Three Styles That Help You Stand Out
No. 1: The New Slim, Trim Double-Breasted
• If you want a double-breasted suit to look modern—and not like something from a gangster flick—keep it short and trim. And avoid Dick Tracy-grade shoulder pads, too.
Keep the jacket buttoned (including the interior button). It doesn't hang well when undone.
• And unlike with single-breasted suits, unless you want to look like a singer in the '80s R&B band, go for a higher-cut six-button suit instead of a low-slung four-button model.
My First Suit: The Green Monster
Nick Cave
"The first suit I ever bought was from a secondhand place in New York when I was on tour there in the early '80s. It was three pieces, lime green with an orange check. I have no idea what it was made of, only that it melted when you would nod off and the cigarette would fall on your trousers. And I was actually imprisoned in it. I was busted buying drugs on the Lower East Side, and I was thrown in a holding pen in this ridiculous lime green suit. And I was thinking, Jesus, I wish it wasn't lime green. And of course, the one other white guy in the cell runs up and goes, 'Fuck, it's Nick Cave!' And what's more, we had a gig that night. We were staying at the Iroquois hotel, and when the sergeant said, 'Nick Cave, c'mon, make your phone call,' I asked him to call the Iroquois. And he says, 'Can you spell that?' And I'm like 'I... R...' 'Nope! Next!' So I was there for three days, and I missed the shows, sitting there in my lime green suit."

6. Get Thee to a Good Tailor: It's the Wisest Money You'll Ever Spend
The right tailor can make a $100 suit look like $1,000, and he can make that $1,000 suit worth every penny. There's not a GQ shoot where we don't enlist our tailor, Joseph, to nip, tuck, and alter a suit. For your purposes, the trick is knowing what needs to be done and then knowing how to manage your tailor. Don't let him tell you how much of a break you want in your trousers: You tell him. You're the boss. Here's what a good tailoring job will run you.
$40/Sleeves
Most suits are cut too full, including the sleeves. Have them narrowed. It makes a difference.
$30/Cuffs
Tailors hesitate to shorten sleeves. Be adamant—your sleeves should end at the break of your wrists.
$35/Body
Jackets need to be brought in at the waist, to create that V effect.
$35/Pants
Have your pants slimmed an inch from top to bottom. Then shorten them. The narrower the pant leg, the less break you need.
The Essential Can't-Go-Wrong Gray Two-Button Suit
"This is basically the man's version of the little black dress. I call it the no-brainer suit. It works during the day; it works at night. It works at every occasion you'd wear a suit to. But you do need to make sure you're getting the right shade of gray—not one that's light and summery, and definitely not a somber charcoal. You want a gray that's right down the middle. When in doubt, wear it with a white shirt and dark solid tie and—like Cary Grant here—you're always going to be the best-dressed guy in the room"—Jim Moore, GQ creative director
7. Go Short—Shorter Than You Think
Your Suit Is (Probably) Too Long
You might have noticed, on the runways and in our pages, that guys are wearing much shorter suit jackets these days. And it's a look we like. Partly because it goes with the slimmer, trimmer suit style, and also because most guys wear their suits too long.
Here's the deal: You should be able to easily cup your hands beneath your suit jackets. Going full-on Thom Browne short isn't for everyone, but there's no denying the impact of this wave. The average suit at J.Crew or Club Monaco is cut considerably shorter than it was five years ago. The days of the average guy wearing a three-to-five-button suit are thankfully behind us.

8. That Year-Round Suit Ain't Cutting It Anymore
We like to think that you should dress like you eat—seasonally. Not only is it a way to bring some variety to your wardrobe; it's also sensible. When the temperature drops, reach for heavier, warmer fabrics. When it's hot and humid, keep your suiting lightweight and pretty much cotton exclusively.
9. Freezing Your Ass Off? Conquer Winter in Style
Flannel
The man in the gray flannel suit. You can't get more timeless—and flawless—than that.
Corduroy
You don't want too fine a wale (so people mistake it for velvet) nor too wide (which can look a little too Greenwich, Connecticut, Christmas party).
Tweed
Perfect for those transitional months when you can skip the overcoat and just throw on a scarf with your trim-cut tweed sports jacket.
 10. ...And When It's Muggy and Miserable, Keep Your Cool
When the temperature surges past seventy or so, it's time to shelve your wool suits and go lightweight. Yes, khaki is probably the best-known of the summer suits, but don't limit yourself: Designers are doing a range of cotton options, including navy, black, and even plaid. Whether you have the cojones to pull off a white one is your call. Other go-to cotton options include seersucker (go with gray or pale blue stripes) and whipcord (which has ridges like corduroy—without the fuzziness). Finally, there's linen, the lightest material of them all. Just make sure yours is cut sharp and slim, unlike the stuff you see flopping in the sea breeze in the Florida Keys.
Three Styles That Help You Stand Out
No. 2: The Young Man's Three-Piece
• A three-piece suit announces itself loudly and clearly—which means you sould opt for a relatively subdued shirt-and-tie combo to provide balance.
Fitwise, think about the vest. It should hit at the belt buckle (not dip past it), and it should wrap snugly around your torso.
Mix it up. Ditch the jacket and stride around the office in just the vest (very manly, indeed). Or you can always leave the vest at home and wear the suit as a conventional two-piece.
My First Suit: The Italian Job
Paul Smith
"The first suit I ever got had a name—it was called the San Remo. It was three, possibly four buttons, with very high lapels. It was in the style of all those movies like La Docle Vita and ones by Antonioni. I suppose I was 15 or 16, and it was, what, 1856? Let's just say it was in the '60s. And to be clear: I didn't buy it; it was paid for by my parents, probably because we had to go to a family wedding. I remember it was sort of a mucky green—lovat, as we'd say in England. I wore it with a cutaway-collar shirt with strong stripes—what we used to call London stripes—and a dark narrow tie. And my hair looked ridiculous. The trend was to put a lot of Brylcreem in and do it up in a quiff—you know, like Mastroianni in La Dolce Vita. I thought it was pretty cool."
11. It Might Get Loud...So Mute It
We dig a patterned suit, but when we show one in the magazine, or wear one ourselves, we like to keep it subtle. Our aim is to inject a bit of personality without making the guy look like a buffoon. Two examples:
Don't Look Like Pee-Wee Herman
Right now, we really like a shadow plaid suit, like the one here. It's more of a suggestion of plaid than a full-on one, like a classic Prince of Wales. It's easy to wear and offers just enough oomph.
Go for a Thinner Pin
For pinstripes, we tend to avoid bold Wall Street stripes and go with either a fine-line pinstripe (tightly spaced superthin stripes) or a solf chalk stripe on a heavyweight flannel, like the one on the right. Both will elicit compliments, not guffaws.
The Style Guy
When it comes to suits, Glenn O'Brien insists on one of a kind
I got my first bespoke suit in 1996. I couldn't find the linen suit I wanted, so I ordered one from Anderson & Sheppard, whose style is slim and soft in structure. While being measured, I discovered how asymmetrical I am: this shoulder lower, that arm longer. On delivery, I realized that my best off-the-peg suits can't compete in fit. In '97, I ordered a three-piece suit, an endangered species then. I was impressed when they brought in their waistcoat man for the job. Bespoke is expensive, but you're getting skilled labor, not advertising pages. You dictate the fabric, specify details like pockets, working buttons, bohemian linings, etc. Why not wear something you won't encounter in the street? I've been wearing my pin-striped denim suit from John Pearse for years, and this fall I'll debut a leprechaun green velvet from Adam Kimmel.
12. Rock a Suit That Rocks
Mark Ronson explains why he quit dressing like a Beastie Boy and started suiting up
"I think style is influenced by the music you like at any given time. At 13 to 15, I was happy listening to the Happy Mondays and going to raves, so I was wearing baggy striped pants and platform rave shoes. Then, from 18 to 26, it was pretty much Beastie Boys 101: shell-toe Adidas. But I started wearing suits every day after I did a GQ shoot inspired by French New Wave films. When Madeline [Weeks, GQ's fashion director] told me New Wave would be the inspiration, I watched alain Delon in Le Samouraï and Jean-Paul Belmondo in Breathless. After the shoot, I was just like 'Shit, I want to dress like this every day!' I think I ended up somewhere between French New Wave, the Beatles in '64, and the jazz musicians on the back of all those great Blue Note covers.
"In 2008, I was producing a record by the Kaiser Chiefs and wearing suits every day. But I was living out of a hotel and eventually ran out of clean shirts, so I had to wear a polo and a pair of black jeans. Nobody would pay attention to me that day. Finally I was like, "Oi! What the fuck? Listen to me!' And Ricky from the band was like, 'Why? You look like a teenager.' People look at you differently when you grow up and wear clothes that fit you better."

"My suit game changed completely after doing my GQ shoot. It's really a golden moment when your suit fits nice and slim, and that includes your shirt and tie and even your shoes. It all needs to slim down—that realization was eye-opening for me.—Kobe Bryant
Three Styles That Help You Stand Out
No. 3: The Winning Peak Lapel
• For the best-fitting peak-lapel suits, stick with two-button models. They create a more fluid shape. Three-button ones tend to be too boxy.
These are elegant business-to-evening suits. Leave the sneaks and tee in the closet.
Want to one-up the dude in the office next to yours? This is the power suit that'll do it.

13. Don't Get Taken to the Cleaners
Chances are you're servicing your suit too often
Do it infrequently. Dry cleaning can be brutal on suiting fabric. A suit is an investment; you want to preserve its integrity.
• If it's looking creased and wrinkled, take it in to have it steam-pressed. This is especially good for cotton suits, which wrinkle more easily.
• And if you're in a bind—or just in some funny hotel in a foreign city—hang it up in the bathroom, blast a hot shower, and close the door for ten minutes. It'll look—almost—like new.

The Cheat Sheet
• A suit's gotta fit right or it isn't worth wearing.
• In order to make sure that it does fit right, find yourself a good tailor.
• You'll never go wrong wearing at two-button suit with a fairly narrow lapel. It's both classic and completely modern.
• Flat-front, relatively trim pants; very little break at the ankle.
• You should be able to easily cup your hands beneath the hem of the jacket; if you can't, it's too long.
• Show some cuff. It's the mark of a (well-dressed) gentleman.
• Dress with the season—cotton suits in summer; tweeds, flannels, and corduroys in winter.
• If you're going to wear a patterned suit, keep the patterns subtle. You want a smart suit, not a kooky one.
• If you ever can afford to get a bespoke suit, get one made. It's worth every penny


August 2012

Jack Spade Bonded Raincoat
For us, this is the gold standard when it comes to buying that raincoat that you're going to wear over a business suit, on the weekends, on every trip imaginable. The color is perfect because it references a traditional tan raincoat, but the people at Jack Spade have warmed up the hue to make it more skin-tone friendly. It's cut trim and a bit shorter than normal, which gives it a more contemporary edge, and the orange interior ensures you're not wearing your dad's old vintage raincoat. Form follows function in the details, like a fly-front closure and bonded seams that keep out the water and gussets under the armholes that help the rubberized cotton breathe. There's no lining, so it's easy to throw on over your heaviest flannel wool suit, or fisherman sweater, or even a hoodie. This is a raincoat fit for running errands or a meeting with the CEO.
Polo Ralph Lauren Fair Isle Sweater
When I think of Fair Isle sweaters I think of Polo by Ralph Lauren, because Ralph is the master of taking something that is so traditional and making it contemporary and cool for the modern guy. Not only is this sweater cut a little bit slimmer, but the pattern has been recolored slightly from the super-fusty, folkloric versions. It looks great with a shirt and tie; just remember to keep your underpinnings clean. We paired it with a pink shirt in the magazine for a preppy look, but it also can look incredibly modern when paired with gray flannel pants, a white oxford shirt, and a pair of black loafers. I think we're at a time in fashion where pieces that are a little bit geezer look great again. So while this obviously pays homage to a classic Scottish Fair Isle, it still feels new.
Polo Ralph Lauren Country Corduroy Pants  
Another one of the things Ralph Lauren does so well is to keep some of the old-world trappings of a garment, but still make it wearable. These corduroy pants have a utilitarian workwear look to them, but the fabric is extremely soft and the garment washing has faded them into a beautiful blue color. Corduroy is a heavier fabric, so you should always go for a slimmer cut, like these, to avoid adding extra pounds to your physique. It's a great weekend pant for those autumn days when the mercury starts to dip a little low.
Burberry Prorsum Horizontal Stripe Knit Silk Tie
The most traditional knit ties are made of silk, followed by wool and then cotton, and what makes this Burberry one incredibly modern, but just as sophisticated, is the fact that it's slimmer and has this wonderful stripe pattern. Because the colors in it are muted it doesn't come across as being too preppy or too nautical. It really marries beautifully with a pinstripe suit or a fall tweed sports jacket. Put it with a chambray shirt, put it with a white oxford, put it with anything.
David Hart Diagonal Check Tie
David Hart kills it this fall by taking classic menswear patterns, in this case a houndstooth and a windowpane, and putting them together in one tie. It pairs well with tweeds, a khaki dress shirt, even just a work shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Pattern mixing with an accessory like this can be tricky, so opt for solid colors that let the bold tie stand out.

 Gitman Polka-Dot Tie
It's the season of the polka-dot die, and this Gitman one is exciting because it's made of wool and the dots are embroidered, not printed. Polka-dot ties are usually silk, so when crafted in this soft wool, the tie becomes a unique piece that stands out from the pack. It comes in this beautiful pale blue, almost chambray, which gives a little dash of color to your fall wardrobe.
Salvatore Ferragamo Double Monkstrap Shoe
Ferragamo is really a footwear dynasty, and incredibly masterful when it comes to building a shoe. I always tell people to spend a little more than you would normally want to on a pair of shoes, because it will be worth it in the long run. The last is built to last a lifetime on these double monks, as long as you take care of them, and the rubber sole helps to keep the them light and comfortable from the get-go. Wear these with jeans, or a suit and unbuckle the top for a little extra savoir faire. This is the quintessential monkstrap in a rich brown that goes with everything—especially those heavyweight fabrics you're going to be wearing for fall.


Cole Haan Air Madison Slip-On
This is a great example of a well-crafted shoe for a good value, and while it's a personal preference, some guys may want their first monk to be a single monk. This Cole Haan pair is a caramel brown, which tends to be a bit more European-looking, that plays beautifully off gray flannel trousers or even white jeans. It's very liberating for guys to feel like they can buy a pair of monkstraps and not just save them for special occasions. Break them out of the box and wear them all the time, from work to weekend.

Hook + ALBERT Contrast Trim Socks
For the guy who wants a little bit of action on his ankle but isn't into wild colors or stripes. What I love about the orange toe and the top is that it's a way to wear color but keep it hidden and keep your inner peacock alive. The polka dot or pin dot is big in ties but it looks just as good as a pattern below a pant hem. This is one of those socks you can wear with a pair of white sneakers, a suede desert boot, or a monkstrap shoe. It's a dressy sock but adds lots of sophistication to more casual looks.
Pantherella Cashmere Blend Socks
In so far as we love really bright colored socks for summer, for fall we're loving the pale sock in a gray or tan or this incredible baby blue. It's just one of those colors that is so attractive with any combination. You put it with gray trousers, you put it with black shoes, corduroy, anything—it's a great neutral for fall. This pair by Pantherella is cashmere and while guys don't think they want to spend money on cashmere socks, the truth is they'll last a long time if they're cared for, and keep you warm.
Penfield Jacket
I like what Penfield has done with this field jacket because it's not too heavy, and it's not belted, but it still has an authentic look to it. The silhouette is a little bit shorter and the styling is a little bit younger and cooler. It's waxed cotton canvas, which will not only make it rainproof and windproof, but also thorn-proof, which makes it great for riding a motorcycle or walking down the street in the inclement elements. The snap buttons are burnished a bit so they aren't too bright and it's got that nice standup collar. The jacket has some real masculine styling to it, both as a weekend staple and as a sport coat replacement, with a shirt and tie under it. And the price is right.
Thom Browne Plaid Oxford Shirt
At this point it's no secret that GQ loves Thom Browne shirts, especially this fall's exploded plaid pattern ones that we've shown in every color. This white version, for example, makes a quieter statement because of it's neutral, tonal color combination but the rounded collar still gives it plenty of personality. We love that Thom takes the woodsy, casual heritage of a plaid shirt but does it as a dress shirt in his famous oxford cloth. It's a little heavier and so it marries up well with all those heavyweight fabrics for fall.
A.P.C. New Standard Jeans
We're going on a decade or more now with our love affair of A.P.C., since founder Jean Touitou introduced the New Standard jean. It's the jean you buy and make your own. They are stiff as cardboard at first, but after a couple of wears, they break in like a great pair of shoes. The fit is perfect in that the waist sits on your hips but isn't too low-rise and the slim, straight leg isn't too skinny or too wide. We recommend holding off on washing them as long as possible to keep the dark raw denim intact, and when you finally do, to wash them inside-out in the bathtub with some cold water and Woolite Dark, letting them drip-dry. It's the perfect jean if you're going to pair with dressier items like a suit jacket and a pair of brogues—these are jeans that will elevate your look. They're crisp and stiff and simple in the best way possible.
Michael Bastian Three-Button Jacket
Michael Bastian keeps surprising us with these pieces that have an old-man cool element to them. The windowpane is one of those patterns we thought was dead forever, and then Michael brings it back and recolors it in this rust and olive, out of a scratchy wool. It works as a piece of outerwear in the early fall, and then when it's freezing outside you can pair with a shirt and tie and wear it in the office or a turtleneck and jeans on the weekend—it's incredibly versatile. Because of the way Michael has cut it and fashioned it, it's something incredibly non-traditional, but still has that traditional appeal.





I Totally Recall Having More Fun The First Time

This should tell you everything you need to know about director Len Wiseman's lugubrious new remake of Total Recall, the brutally funny 1990 Paul Verhoeven/Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi classic: Kate Beckinsale, not an actress I often depend on to keep life seeming worthwhile, is the only performer in sight who shows even a glimmer of liveliness or wit. She's playing the part that put the pre-Basic Instinct Sharon Stone on the map—Lori, the loving wife who turns into a kick-ass villainess and slugging opponent once the hero catches on that his "real" life is a sham—and believe me, her maddened Posh Spice glares and curled lip when she revs into action are sights as welcomely incongruous amid the gloom that surrounds her as an icy martini wafting toward you in a mine shaft. It's a mystery how her old-fashioned notion that performances in movies like this one should be amusingly over-the-top ever managed to escape her director's (also her husband's) eagle eye for glumness.

As if to cater to our Great Recession doldrums, the plot has been reworked to drab, literally earthbound (no trip to Mars) effect. But the basic gimmick is in place. Taking over Ah-nold's old role, Colin Farrell plays Doug Quaid, an assembly-line worker living in "The Colony"—that is, the former Australia, now packed with mostly Asian refugees after too much chemical warfare has turned it into one of the only two habitable places on the planet. The other and richer one is the "United Federation of Britain," to which drone bees like Doug commute via a sort of supersized Acela named "The Fall"—not after the band, presumably—which zaps them through the earth's core in seventeen minutes flat.
The UFB's top cat is Bryan Cranston as the usual sinister dork with a totalitarian gleam in his eye, named Cohaagen-Dazs or something. (OK, so it's just "Cohaagen," but finding laughs in this movie is a DIY project.) He's got plans to invade the Colony with a robot army of heavily armed "synthetic police" to root out the resistance movement there. If all of this sounds like pretty stale stuff as dystopias go, you're getting the drift. The way the Colony is visualized mostly just tells you how badly Wiseman would rather be remaking Blade Runner.
Troubled by recurring dreams in which he's some sort of secret agent, Doug drops into Rekall—purveyors of implanted fake memories—and asks for their spy package. (The original's set-up was less clumsy: Schwarzenegger wanted to visit a virtual Mars simply because he couldn't afford to go to the real one.) And, well, you know what's coming: It turns out his spy fantasy was the reality, and his former employers up top wiped his brain clean of remembering it. Now he's a turncoat on the run, helped out by a resistance fighter named Melina (Jessica Biel). She needs to take him to her/their leader, Matthias—played by a mightily bored Bill Nighy, who seems to be fighting an impulse to yank out an iPhone between yawns and ask Siri to find him a new agent—to help foil Cohaagen-Dazs's looming invasion.
Understand, in principle, there's no particular reason to lament the idea of remaking Total Recall (which was itself based on Philip K. Dick's story "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale"). The original is 22 years old, pretty much the Pleistocene era to today's public, and not what you'd call sacred. But as tiresome as it is to say, just about every choice made by the filmmakers ends up reminding you of how much more brash and inventive Verhoeven's original was. Even the reprise of one of the 1990 version's best-remembered gotchas—a mutant prostitute exhibiting her three breasts—is embarrassing, because she's just plunked into a scene at random and nothing else in the movie justifies including her. For Verhoeven, three-breasted hookers were an organic (so to speak) part of the gleeful, salaciously pranksterish tone he brought to the material.
Compared to Verhoeven's relish for tweaking us with perverse gags and bold images—not least, the big post-marital martial-arts brawl between Schwarzenegger and Stone, a cliché now but a genuinely twisted novelty in those pre-Buffy the Vampire Slayer days—the way the new movie crawls by feels like sitting through a state funeral for a bunch of gigantic kitchen appliances. The variety and flair of the original's action showpieces have been replaced by scene after scene of people monotonously punching each other in cramped, dim surroundings, and even the one sequence that might have generated some thrill-ride momentum—a chase involving futuristic cars scooting around above ground—is a cluttered mess. The same goes for the CGI renditions of the world everybody lives in; they're so crammed with post-apocalyptic busywork that you can't glean any basic information about each environment, like where anything is in relation to anything else or the intended result of what anybody is trying to do.
The real puzzler, though, is that the whole thing is so joyless. How badly do you have to blow redoing Total Recall to end up with a movie that's no fun at all? Practically the only joke in the whole two hours is whose face is on the future's currency—and it goes by in an unexplained eyeblink, too. Beckinsale aside, nobody in the cast has any spark. Farrell seems to have been directed to play the hero by imagining what Robert Downey, Jr., might be like after a lobotomy. (Answer: awfully down in the dumps.) Cranston—who's so brilliant in Breaking Bad—seems almost painfully out of place; it's like watching Hal Holbrook play Hitler as he tries to stick in little touches of folksiness to humanize him.
Then again, Wiseman may not have blown it at all so far as the big audience is concerned. Joylessness—or humorlessness, anyhow—is what proves a comic-book movie's importance these days. Even admiring The Dark Knight Rises as I mostly do, I can still wish Christopher Nolan hadn't become the exemplar for everybody else, especially filmmakers who can't match either his visual authority or his intimations of depth. If the new Total Recall ends up certifying the vogue, people like me may soon take to looking forward to the next Lars von Trier flick to perk ourselves up with a reminder that life has a larky side.

Have You Heard About the JetBlue of Suits?


Cary Grant—no stranger to looking good—supposedly said that his secret lay in taking the stairs. That's the first thing you'll do when you walk into Suitsupply's New York store, since it's on the second floor.
Avoiding overpriced real estate is one of the ways the company works at saving you a buck. Dutch founder Fokke de Jong also owns the overseas factories, killing the middleman markup. That's why a suit here costs as little as $399. And that, in turn, is why the most stylish young dudes in N.Y.C.—the ones who nerd out on ticket pockets and pick stitching but can't afford brands pronounced with Italian accents— swear by this place.
Case in point, you'll find jackets with natural (almost padding- free) shoulders and working buttonholes on the sleeves. The jackets also have a floating canvas—a layer of fabric (usually horsehair) sandwiched between the wool and the lining that eventually conforms to your body; it's something you won't find on those boxy, lifeless jackets littering discount racks at department stores. Suitsupply even offers on-site tailoring, with simple jobs (like hemming pants) done while you wait.
One area we're glad to see Suitsupply spending money, though: expansion. Chicago now has a shop to call its own, and later this month Georgetown, D.C., will, too. (Everyone else can buy online at Suitsupply.com.) Which is why this is fast becoming the spot to score a suit— whether it's your first or your tenth.
1. Suitsupply's Nish de Gruiter (left), formerly of Brunello Cucinelli, gets a customer suited up.
2. The in-house tailor needs three days, max, to tweak your new purchase.
3. You can get this whole look at Suitsupply...
4. ...because the store supplies more than suits. It has shirts, shoes, accessories, and off-duty gear, too

Beyond Jackets and Pants
Try not to get overwhelmed by Suitsupply's array of custom-shirting fabrics.
Cover the Spread
Top off a suit with a chambray cutaway-collar shirt and you'll be killing it.
Interior Design
The wool comes from Italy, and even the cotton lining is the good stuff.


10 Essentials: Avicii



Swedish DJ Avicii—real name Tim Bergling—has gone from tooling around on his MacBook to becoming one of the biggest electronic music makers in the world, all in the span of a few years. Not too shabby for a 23-year-old. In 2012, his mega-hit "Levels" can be heard everywhere, he was nominated for a Grammy, started remixing for the likes of Madonna, and became the face of Ralph Lauren's Denim & Supply line. He'll head back into the studio this fall, collaborating with some top-secret artists, but not before he finishes up a summer of gigs across the globe. Here, he shares with GQ the ten things he couldn't live without on the road.

 1. Headphones: V-moda Crossfade LP2 headphones
"These are the only headphones I've seen that look that good and still have amazing sound. They're the perfect mixture of style, quality, and performance. I use them both onstage and off, when I'm watching movies."

2. Denim & Supply plaid shirts
"I've always worn a lot of Ralph Lauren, and plaid shirts in general have been a signature piece for me. With plaid, you can look super-relaxed or you can look a bit dressed up. I was introduced to these Denim & Supply ones even before we partnered up, when they sent over a couple from the new collection. I always have problems with finding the right fit: A lot of shirts fit okay, but there are a few that really fit perfectly, and all of these just do."

3. 15-inch MacBook Pro
"It's an easy computer to bring out quickly, easy to put down and pick up. It starts quickly and never has any performance issues. It's incredibly light for the performance of it, especially the new model. Even running Boot Camp Windows on it for my music, it works, like, amazing."


 4. Oral-B medium toothbrush
"I like to brush my teeth. I don't know how much information is needed for a toothbrush."

5. iPhone (black) and Mophie Juice Pack Air Case with rechargeable battery
"I've tried plenty of telephones. I tried to get into the Samsung Galaxy and the Blackberry, but the iPhone is just too easy to use. The camera takes clear pictures and the phone itself looks great. Like all Apple products, it kind of just makes sense.
I travel with a bunch of battery packs because I don't always have time to charge my phone at the hotel room when I'm traveling. I always change them so I never run out of battery."


6. Berocca vitamin C
"It's a vitamin supplement that I try to take every day that really helps with the traveling. I don't really eat well all the time, so this kind of helps keep my immune system up."


7. San Miguel Premium Beer
"I think it reminds me a lot of my first summer in Ibiza, and every time I see it there or I drink it, it kind of brings me back to a lot of good memories. I've always loved the taste of it, too. I try to get it whenever I can; it's not something you can get all the time, but I try to get it as much as possible."


 8. General Snus smokeless tobacco
"A long time ago I used to smoke, but I stopped maybe six years ago. I'm starting to really like the taste of Snus—it's sweet—and the convenience of it. I don't like smoking, and obviously what it does to you...who likes that? I can have this on, like, a half-an-hour flight, when I can't smoke on the plane"


 9. FL Studio
"I wouldn't make music if it weren't for this program. It's the one I use to make all my music and the program that I've used from the start. I've tried everything else, but I haven't found anything that makes me want to change. It's a very logical program for me to put down ideas quickly, since I'm not very patient. One of the downsides is that mixing and mastering is harder, since you have to use external plugins like compressors. But for working with a lot of melodies and putting stuff down quickly, there's nothing that can beat it."

10. Tumi "Sierra" passport case
"I always used to travel without a passport case, and because of it I think I'm four passports in. I bought this small Tumi case to protect my new one, and it works really well, not just for protecting it but also for keeping credit cards and small stuff. I just throw it in my bag when I'm traveling, as opposed to stuffed in my pocket."

Goodbye To All That Chick-Fil-A


It's safe to say that the chemical reaction that occurs in my brain after Chick-Fil-A enters my mouth verges on unhealthy. It's something akin to mania. In fact, I'm fairly certain my affection could formally be classified as addiction by DSM IV standards. It's disrupted my health, sanity, and relationships. It's defied my morals.
A freshly-prepared Chick-Fil-A Original sandwich is a delicacy that is exotic to New York. So whenever I travel, I take extreme detours for a fix. I've narrowly made connections in Atlanta International after sprinting, rolly bag in tow, from Terminal D to A and back to D. I've passed up direct flights for connecting flights through Cincinnati, whose Terminal 3 has a particularly well-run establishment. On more than one drive from New York to DC, my ex and I got in raised-voice blow-outs over the cost-benefit analysis of a scenic route through College Park, Maryland. "It's only five miles out of the way," I'd explain. "And I already know what I want." Later, in the aftermath of my victory, I would reason with myself that the MSG lingering on my tongue was worth the hour-long bout of silence. That it was even worth the guilt-ridden apology I would have to muster before we crossed the city limits.
Today, I am one week sober.
Visiting family in Kentucky recently, I consumed my last meal at Chick-Fil-A: one chicken sandwich, no pickle; eight nuggets of tender white meat; and an order of salt-crusted waffle fries that were so perfectly crisp, no dipping sauce was needed.
It was a private moment. I ate the sandwich first, knowing that if I was truly full, the logical thing to sacrifice would be the fries. As the salty-sweet crunch melted on my taste buds, I thought about all the calories I had consumed over the years. There was last Christmas in Austin, where my parents reside, when I drove through the pick-up window for five consecutive meals. I felt sick after the third. The next morning I waited 15 minutes for the doors to open and then ordered two flaky, buttery chicken biscuits. There were the frequent visits during middle school, a 30-minute drive to the edge of town, where dinners were topped off with brownies à la mode. It's only clear now, 14 years wiser and 30 pounds lighter, the pact I had made with myself: to eat the gay away.
Somewhere between the last nugget and my inaugural fry, I started to fill up but pushed through—some weird, masochistic homage to my former self. When I was finished, a polite woman with bluntly chopped blond hair approached my table. She pulled her red and white visor straight and reached for my tray. "Can I get you anything else, darlin'?" she asked with a thick, Southern drawl and smiled.
And my answer was simply, regretlessly, finally: No.