No, of course I didn't see John Carter—what do you take me for? I heard it wasn't that bad of a movie, right after I heard that it was one of the biggest flops in movie history. But you know what I neverheard about? What the movie was actually about. Because Disney, in their infinite wisdom, decided to base a tent-pole summer blockbuster around a pulp sci-fi novel written a century ago, name it John Carter of Mars, and blast that name out in all caps as the centerpiece of a multi-million-dollar marketing campaign—forgetting that the general public has no idea who John Carter is or why they should care, besides some typically snooze-worthy CGI and Tim Riggins fighting aliens. Disney reported a $161 million loss that quarter, and ejected their studio head soon after; thank god for The Avengers, right guys?
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