The football-industrial complex knows it as well as you do: Sex sells. That said, it has made the big game a whole lot more watchable. Here, the best ads from the ages, starring Beyoncé, Britney, Adriana, and, yes, twins.
Apple, 1984
The Ridley Scott-directed ad that helped kickstart the Super Bowl Commercial Industrial complex might have also, unintentionally, been the first sexy Super Bowl commercial. All revolutions should be delivered by way of a fleet-footed Hooters waitresses.
Cindy Crawford for Pepsi, 1992
This ad proves there's nothing more enduringly hot, or American, than a beautiful woman in daisy dukes and a tank top.
The folks behind those GoDaddy commercials could learn a thing or two from watching this.
Victoria's Secret, 1999
This short spot ran as a teaser to the first time the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show would be streamed over the "world wide web." It was also the last time you could remember the names of every single angel.
Britney Spears for Pepsi, 2002
A reminder to everyone of the time when Britney was actually one of the hottest women around. It's still unclear as to why this commercial was banned
Bud Light, 2003
Truth in advertising. The only reason dudes do yoga? The view. Any straight man who says they roll out of bed at 6 a.m. and squeeze into Lululemon shorts to balance their chakras is lying.
Miller Lite Catfight, 2003
The only time two people, let alone smoking hot chicks, would get into a fight over what makes Miller Lite so awesome.
Coors Light, 2003
Because twins, bro. TWINS.
Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh for Visa, 2004
Like the sport of women's volleyball itself, this ad was most likely unintentionally sexy. But, man, unintentionally sexy can be pretty damn sexy.
Britney, Beyoncé, and Pink for Pepsi, 2005
A 13 year-old going through puberty had to have written the treatment for this one. Which is fine, because, let's be honest, we're all 13-year-olds going through puberty on the inside.
Adriana Lima for Victoria's Secret, 2008
When Adriana twirls that football and tells you she'll see you after the game, it's enough to make you wish they'd get this stupid game over with.
PETA, 2009
PETA has a way of producing provocative ads that get banned a lot—even if this really just makes us want a big steak.
Megan Fox for Motorola, 2010
Not even Megan Fox in a hot tub could revive Motorola—what the hell was "Motoblur"?—but it was a noble effort
Kim Kardashian for Skechers, 2011
Don't worry, Kardashian haters, we've helpfully selected the only relevant parts of this ad.
Adriana Lima for Kia, 2012
It's not enough to make the Kia Optima sexy, but it does make us wonder why our own dreams are slacking off so damn bad.
Kate Upton for Carl's Jr., 2012
This is that one Kate Upton ad where she gets really hot and bothered while doing something really ordinary. There is no way you are reading this.
Apple, 1984
The Ridley Scott-directed ad that helped kickstart the Super Bowl Commercial Industrial complex might have also, unintentionally, been the first sexy Super Bowl commercial. All revolutions should be delivered by way of a fleet-footed Hooters waitresses.
Cindy Crawford for Pepsi, 1992
This ad proves there's nothing more enduringly hot, or American, than a beautiful woman in daisy dukes and a tank top.
The folks behind those GoDaddy commercials could learn a thing or two from watching this.
Victoria's Secret, 1999
This short spot ran as a teaser to the first time the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show would be streamed over the "world wide web." It was also the last time you could remember the names of every single angel.
Britney Spears for Pepsi, 2002
A reminder to everyone of the time when Britney was actually one of the hottest women around. It's still unclear as to why this commercial was banned
Bud Light, 2003
Truth in advertising. The only reason dudes do yoga? The view. Any straight man who says they roll out of bed at 6 a.m. and squeeze into Lululemon shorts to balance their chakras is lying.
Miller Lite Catfight, 2003
The only time two people, let alone smoking hot chicks, would get into a fight over what makes Miller Lite so awesome.
Coors Light, 2003
Because twins, bro. TWINS.
Like the sport of women's volleyball itself, this ad was most likely unintentionally sexy. But, man, unintentionally sexy can be pretty damn sexy.
Britney, Beyoncé, and Pink for Pepsi, 2005
A 13 year-old going through puberty had to have written the treatment for this one. Which is fine, because, let's be honest, we're all 13-year-olds going through puberty on the inside.
When Adriana twirls that football and tells you she'll see you after the game, it's enough to make you wish they'd get this stupid game over with.
PETA has a way of producing provocative ads that get banned a lot—even if this really just makes us want a big steak.
Not even Megan Fox in a hot tub could revive Motorola—what the hell was "Motoblur"?—but it was a noble effort
Kim Kardashian for Skechers, 2011
Don't worry, Kardashian haters, we've helpfully selected the only relevant parts of this ad.
It's not enough to make the Kia Optima sexy, but it does make us wonder why our own dreams are slacking off so damn bad.
This is that one Kate Upton ad where she gets really hot and bothered while doing something really ordinary. There is no way you are reading this.
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