Pick Up a Few Unconventional Between-the-Sheets Techniques from Jason Sudeikis

Quick: Name two actors who are not in Movie 43.
Yul Brynner and Olivia Wilde. And that's on purpose.

I assume, from the breast count (two pairs) in the (two-minute) trailer, that we should expect gratuitous nudity?
I know I am not naked in this film. But in this day and age you can count on at least boobs, and sometimes even the penis. The penis shows up more and more.

And are you poised to show that?
Uh, male frontal nudity for comedy's sake? I don't think so. I've never been a shirt-off, pants-off kind of comedy guy.

What about for drama's sake?
Well, it would be very dramatic for me. Because my parents still go see all my movies. But just because they go see everything I'm in doesn't mean they need to see everything that's in me.

I heard you on Marc Maron's podcast talking about how you almost joined Blue Man Group pre-SNL, which is mind-blowing.
Yes! I was in Las Vegas, performing with Second City at the time. I had sort of lost a little bit of love for the art form of sketch comedy and made friends with the Blue Man Group guys. So I auditioned—and really went for it, too. The acting was easy, but the drumming was like not having my lines memorized. I was sweating cobalt blue.

Do you get a pang of sadness when you see the show now?
No, I still love it. I just think it's so funny and so smart and relevant. You know, I did feel a little bit like a boob when the geniuses at Arrested Development—and I mean that sincerely—made Tobias so fascinated with it. I was kind of like, "Aw, man. That was me." One hundred percent. But I like to think Mitch Hurwitz and the Arrested gang, in the back of their heads, were like, "No, it's a cool show."

For Valentine's Day, could you give our readers some tips on how to land a fiancée like Olivia Wilde?
Oh boy. First off, when she's speaking, keep your eyes open. Also say "please" and "thank you"—that was very helpful. And most important: Just mean what you say and say what you mean.

That's very genuine. Recently, Olivia joked that you guys had sex like Kenyan marathon runners. So you guys wear short shorts and numbers on your backs?
Yep, and we have a guy who gives us little cups of water. To be honest, she was misquoted. If there's any legitimacy in entertainment journalism, I'd be remiss if I didn't correct it: The actual quote was "We fuck like Kenyan marathon runners."

Oh, sorry. Yes. Totally different.
Things get lost in the translation. But everything after, from the word sex on, is accurate. When we're both done, we tear through a little piece of tape. And you gotta put Band-Aids on your nipples, otherwise you're really raw.