"As catchphrases go, I put "wocka wocka" right up there with "Charlie don't surf" and "Oh the humanity." That said, Fozzie's ability to wiggle his ears may have been mind-blowing in 1976, but today we've got Ted doing bong hits and teabagging prostitutes. Point being, technology has evolved."
"Most of the songs in his movie were written by the Sherman Brothers, which means really great songs, plus a decent bear. On the other hand, Baloo was created by Rudyard Kipling—an imperial dick who thought India would become a wet hole without the Raj. On the other other hand, have you been to India lately?"
"Teddy was the only thing good about that movie. Essentially he was Jiminy Cricket, only without "When You Wish Upon A Star," which has gotten me in tons of legal trouble (thanks to my Family Guy episode, "When You Wish Upon A Weinstein"). So Teddy gets bonus points for not fucking suing me."
"He's a classic and an icon—but that little red shirt keeps creeping up above his midriff, which evokes a prison girlfriend. Plus his game, Poohsticks, is just dropping sticks off bridges into creeks. That might fly in England, but when dirtbag American kids play it with rocks and freeway overpasses, suddenly it's not so cute anymore."
"Not technically a bear, but merits an honorable mention. The big-screen version was played by Snoop Dogg, who once told me that The Cleveland Show is not generally enjoyed by African-American gentlemen, or words to that effect."